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This Funny & True Shopping Stories Will Make Your Day

Plaza Disaster

(I’m meeting my mum in a large town so my kids can have a holiday with her. She texts me to tell me where to meet her. There are several shopping plazas here.)

Text: “I’m at the plaza. We will go and get lunch and wait for you.”

(I ring to check I’m at the right plaza.)

Me: “Hey, mum, which plaza are you at?”

Mum: “It’s just a gigantic plaza. How can you be lost?”

Me: “Because there’s THREE of them at different corners I the town. I’m just checking we are at the same one. Surely you could see the name on the doors you came through or ask someone?”

Mum: “Well, you’ll have to work it out.” *to someone in background* “God, she’s lost AGAIN. She’s so useless. Now I’m going to have to waste my time going to find her…”

(I found her by driving through every plaza’s car park, looking for her car.)


Creeping Into The Parking Spot

(I am pulling into a shopping carpark and notice an empty parking space to my right, as well as three other customers putting their groceries into their cars. Unfortunately, carpark road rules say I can only turn left, so I do so and do a loop around the car park to return to that spot where I would be able to park. When I return to that area, just half a minute later, there is an angry looking customer holding up the flow of traffic in the carpark entry. He wants to turn right, where I had spotted the car spaces. I indicate left and enter the area and immediately find a spot. One car leaves and the angry customer parks, immediately next to me. Another car leaves, leaving a third spot free and a mother is putting her child in her car, meaning a fourth will soon become available. This guy looks pretty rough, the kind of guy you wouldn’t want to mess with, and I am a woman.)

Angry Customer: *looks at me, scowling* “You stupid f****** b****!”

(He continues as he gets out of his car and begins to walk past me, swearing and shouting. I have had enough. I get out of my car.)

Me: *speaking calmly* “You shouldn’t get so angry.”

Angry Customer: *waving his arms around* “Well, I am telling you, you are f****** lucky I was able to park here or I’d have messed you up!”

Me: *raising my voice* “No! You listen. I entered the car park before you and saw what would soon be four car spaces in this area. I followed the road rules and turned left when I was supposed to, and you held up traffic before turning right illegally. Even if you were allowed to turn right there, I would still have right of way because you need to give way to me. Plus, I am in a parking spot, you are in a parking spot, and there are now an additional two empty spots here. So, what is the point in acting like a lunatic?”

(The angry customer looks at left only sign. His face pales.)

Angry Customer: “Oh! I am sorry! You are right and I shouldn’t get angry like this. I have to say I am really proud of you for standing up to me. That’s really brave. No one ever stands up to me.”

(He continued like that as I walked hurriedly to the shopping centre. He was creepier when he was polite than he was when he was angry. When I returned to my car I found a rose on my windscreen.)